This is about Gablets (nickname for my daughter Gabriela, 8 months) and me, and our struggles with sleep. I laughed my ass off with EBT&T’s story telling parents with sleepers to keep the info to themselves, I even shared it hoping that some of my happy gloaty friends might take a hint though unfortunately it seems to have backfired with friends, mums of friends of mums and anyone really giving me all sorts of advise from let her cry it out and you have weak milk to why don’t you get your Dr to prescribe her a sedative…
I am a happy Boober, (and Decanter when I need to). In fact my daughter, Gablets, loves booby juice so much she wakes up 9 times on average a night to get a fix. Though months of sleep deprivation, and boobs that seem to be more empty sacks of skins, are driving me towards adding an additional feed of formula, which at the moment she just spits whilst pretending to be the Trevi fountain of baby formula.
In the last week, in an effort to try and get my daughter sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a stretch each night, I have read almost every theory and opinion regarding infant sleep, most of which I have to say is contradictory and downright hard to read for someone that can often barely string a legible sentence together. I guess I was hoping that while stumbling through one of these books a divine bright light would shine down and say, “hello lady that looks like she has been dragged through a bush backwards, this is what you need to do”. I have to say though after trying the crying method for a period of about 5 minutes I would rather drink bleach than do that again. Maybe I need to toughen up like my tougher mother friends tell me to… but listening to her crying seems to go against every grain in my sleep deprived mummy brain. She claws at my top when I try to get her back to sleep using calm words and a dummy (ok ok and often a softly spoken expletive escapes too). Plus during the day she is a happy baby laughing, social, loves life. The thought of turning that happy little lady into a red eyed clingy mess is hard (she is not temperamentally hard, despite her aversions to sleep and 6 weeks of colic, as Dr Weissbluth predicts in his book). Also tried the pick up put down technique made infamous by the baby whisperer and after doing it for approximately 5 minutes I put my back out, I think the woman either had back muscles of steel or is a sadist.
In any case I will struggle on. I will read everything possible book to try and regain some control over our sleep and try my hardest to listen patiently to the well meant and generally unsolicited advise. I may not succeed to get her to sleep through the night for now. But one thing is for sure, I will continue giving my little party animal all the booby juice fixes she needs because I have been reliably informed that all too soon she will be stealing the car keys and ignoring me as she heads out the door to party like it’s 2031, and I am sure I will still be sleep deprived once again as I wait for her to get home.