Hands up who likes the term ‘feeding choice’?
Bottle feeding mums defend their ‘choices’ when in actual fact many would argue there wasn’t much choice in it at all. How they came to feed their little ones was more of a baby/life-led decision, made when they felt at their most broken; a series of events that called for a series of options when all the best laid plans had turned to shit, forever to be stereotyped because of their feeding outcome.
It doesn’t just work that way for the decanters either. There are those that feed their children beyond two years of age. They get pigeon-holed and stereotyped too. Just today, I read a comment from a mother whose GP had remarked it ‘odd’ she was still feeding her two year old. I have had someone comment on this blog about feeding children beyond a certain age increases the risk of autism because of the toxins in hooter juice. I have had friends being told they’re giving their children mental problems. We do that anyway, regardless of how long they boob-fed for.
So, let’s sum this up; if you bottle feed, you’re lazy, irresponsible, selfish, uneducated and your children will be fat, wheezy, thick and covered in warts and boils. If you breastfeed beyond two years of age, you’re lazy, irresponsible, selfish, uneducated and your children will be mentally deranged autistic perverts. No hope either way by my reckoning.
Over the next few blogs, I will be looking into the research surrounding feeding beyond two years of age and would like to share a couple stories with you; from mums that are boobing their kids beyond the age of two. Even if you think this isn’t a subject for you, please stick around because hopefully you’ll see it isn’t militant lactivists putting their narcissistic needs before their child’s. They are mothers being baby/life-led, just like everyone else.
Let us start with this:
“I had a very bad start bringing my boy into the world. I suffered a huge haemorrhage and my heart stopped. I underwent a lot of treatment resulting in memory loss, dislocated hips, the list goes on …
My partner, unknown to me, actually listened when I was pregnant. He spent the first 3 days of our son’s life battling with staff to not give him a bottle as I spent my time fighting in ICU to be his mummy.
An off duty nurse, who came from nowhere, started holding my son to me, helping me feed him when I was not awake. When I awoke, the first thing they did was take me to a room and latch him on again; my arms and legs were elevated and in these strange contraptions that were blown up and down to help my circulation. I had been given so much blood I looked like the Michelin man!
Anyway my son fed and kept feeding and loved it. Because of our start, I feel so blessed to have been able to breast feed and now he is going to be 2 in April! I have gotten to the point where I am just going to rely on talking to him about it when he understands a bit more; that it’s time to stop but for now it’s all that settles him… He doesn’t sleep through ever at all everrrrr! And the only thing that’s settles is the boob. I have tried everything believe me!
He doesn’t feed in the day, although he asks if he falls over or feels tired. It’s just a night night bedtime thing now.
Last week a friend of mine posted a picture of her breast feeding her newborn child on Instagram. She is a very well known artist and has 100s of followers. She had nothing but likes and good wishes. I wrote a message saying that it was a beautiful picture and she was doing an amazing job. She then replied to me tagging my name to the message and said what an amazing job I had done and she hopes she will be able to feed for as long as me …
I then received a horrid message under a photograph of my son on my Instagram from a complete stranger saying “omg jeez, you’re not seriously saying you still breastfeed a mature infant? That’s completely disgusting and vile and you shouldn’t be a parent” …. It gets worse …..
I got emails saying I am affecting my son mentally and I am vile woman, doing it only for myself and I need help. Then I got this message, “breastfeeding is for nutrition and bonding, yes, but at two years old, a child would have and should have formed a bond already. I feel sorry for your child that is sucking on his mother’s breast when he’s a mature infant just to please your needs. He will develop complexes in later life. I find this really appalling.”
I reported and blocked them and have had just one email since.
It has completely affected me. It is like someone who has no idea who I am has completely shattered me .
I have always suffered with lack of confidence. Becoming a mother was terrifying for me as I don’t want my son to become anxious like me. I want him to be happy and confident and healthy. That’s all I ever want for him. He can do anything and I will always support him. But now I feel like everything I have done so far is because I have been selfish and because of our start, perhaps I haven’t been able to let go and everything that he struggles with now is in effect due to me not letting go? I have no idea what I am doing now.
I know my son is happy and healthy. He won’t drink from a bottle. He won’t even have my milk in a bottle or cup. Just wants to breast feed the whole way and I am ok with it. So why is that a problem I have no idea? I didn’t think I would breast feed at all let alone for 2 years.
It’s such a head job being a mum and everyone has different opinions and I just wish I had enough confidence to be strong in my own opinions. I don’t know why I am still breast feeding. I don’t know why my child doesn’t sleep. But deep down, I feel my son is comforted by me and I him and we have a bond. He will make his own decision when the time is right for him .
I don’t want to be doing this when he’s 4 but I’d like to think all this hard work came to a lovely end when we both talked to each other about it and I want that to remain a constant throughout his entire life. I am his mum and his point of call for anything he needs.“
If you are a longer-term boober and would like to offer support to this mummy, then please get in touch, either by commenting below or by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you have your own feeding stereotype-busting story you want to tell, then please get in touch.